season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
