frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
