He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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