I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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