What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
