oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
