idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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