Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Text me some of your sweat
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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