you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
