last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
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