I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize