You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
