well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
