I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
