K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Small penises have feelings too.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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