i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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