After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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