Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
