I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
