i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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