And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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