She's JV to your varsity
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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