It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
