No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize