My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
