At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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