I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
