what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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