I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
