I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
