just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize