my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am available for nakedness
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
