i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
