Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
