The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
