Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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