Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize