Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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