she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
