i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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