Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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