I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
