Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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