So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
