Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
