I think my vagina is haunted
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
