and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
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I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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