This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
