I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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