I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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