Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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