Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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