We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
