Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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