No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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