k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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