he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize