Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
