so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
