Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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