i think my tv is drunk
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
should my penis look like a turkey
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
