Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize