this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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