lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
They have beer where we have blood.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
