Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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